Only words today.
I have entered a point with Asher now that I am starting to feel the pressure to ween, or maybe I am feeling the worlds judgement on the fact that he is a nursing loving 2 year and 8 month old who seems to have no intention on letting up in the foreseeable future. I have been thinking more and more about our nursing relationship. It really is an amazing thing. Three years ago when I decided that yes of course I would breastfeed my child I couldn't have imagined what a journey it would be. Learning from friends who had some difficulties, I was nervous about myself being able to overcome problems in nursing. I know people who nursed for over a year with a nipple shield, someone who pumped for a whole year to feed her baby the best milk from a bottle. Parents up at all nights worried about weight gain and milk supply. When you hear the stories of those who up against all odds still provided breast milk for those babes, I realize how lucky I have been. While Asher and I didn't lay skin to skin until he was an hour old, and his latch wasn't stellar then, within those first 24 hours he became a champion nurser and hasn't looked back since.
When I became pregnant with River I was really worried that I had compromised my nursing relationship with Asher. Again hearing about others milk drying up, the taste change when you revert back to colostrum, I was upset a bit with the surprise pregnancy that I had taken away my ability to nurse Asher until he was two- my goal way back when. I figured he would ween at some point, or we just wouldn't be able to do it. Wrong I was, he nursed all through my pregnancy and while there wasn't much and he knew it, I remember when the milk returned and how happy he was that his new little bro had brought it back with him. I really feel that it cemented a bond in Asher's mind. He would love River for always from that moment.
And now after months of tandem nursing, (I try not to nurse both at the same time, but on those days when I have two crying, I am grateful that it is an option) those lingering thoughts out there in the world about extended breast feeding are creeping in my head and I just feel quite alone.
He doesn't nurse often, but he does for nap time. I don't know that I can give up naps, we tried that for awhile, and it led to more misery than sleep in the long run. But my energy levels are suffering and I don't know how beneficial our nursing relationship is. Will he ever actually just stop nursing on his own?
4 comments:
I think he will... you're AMAZING for making it this long...and I TOTALLY feel your pain about the energy levels. Nursing is a full time job...and to have 2 nursing?!?! Oh my! I admire you tenacity & dedication! But there is a time for everything...Good Luck & let me know how it turns out! :)
Of course the decision is between you and Asher but just so you know, you are definitely not alone. I have met so many mamas in madison that have nursed their children until 3 or 4-- it has definitely changed my perception of a normal nursing relationship.
also, i think kids do stop on their own, but it sounds like, if you don't push for it, they will tend to taper off between 3 and 4.
Thank you Regan, that does help. It is so hard to deal with this norm. I need to just find some more nursing toddler/preschool mamas.
Kate - you're an amazing mama. I know it must be hard for your to be nursing two - and i totally understand the societal pressure aspect - i experienced that as soon as Mary was over 1 year old. But you can do it! Asher still needs you in that way, and when he's ready, he'll stop. every kid is different. i think there are a lot more nursing toddlers out there than we realize - since most are probably just the nurse-at-naptime types, like Asher.
my heart melts just thinking about the you nursing the two babies at the same time. what a lovely moment that must be.
love you!
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