Lately I have been feeling an overwhelmed amount of something, be it pride, happiness, joy, love, gratitude-I can't really put my finger on it, and it is not the same feeling of overwhelmingness that has riddled my daily life since R's arrival-just an emotional state of being that makes me so very grateful for these boys that I have in my life.
River has been here for over 6 months now. It is hard to imagine life without him, yet I remember the calm that existed in this far off place. A time when really I had no one to think of but myself. While there are definitely moments when I wish I could be back to that place, sewing, knitting, drinking wine, listening to music, anything on a whim- I know that these moments with my boys will go by way to fast and then I will be longing for them. 
Instead of longing for them in the future, I am really trying to embrace them in the now. I have become better at balancing myself and my babes, I knit now in there room while sometimes nursing one and reading to the other. I cut fabric for sewing while Asher plays at his art table and does sewing cards and River's has a kick ass afternoon nap. I worry less about the things I could be doing while I read the same annoying book for the 5th time or while I am laying down nursing for what seems to be the millionth minute. I enjoy all of my moments, be them tantrums, laughter, poops or hugs. My my River you have reshaped our family, always for the better. I have changed as a mother in so many ways, be it patience with Asher, patience with myself, more love for the world, more creativity as a parent, more respect for my partner the list goes on and on.
Nothing changes things more in a landscape than a river, they meander, ebb and flow. They are fast and slow depending on the parent material that makes up their bed and the rainfall. They change with the seasons and as they age, and they forever impact the world around them.
This little boy will never know how much his name has come to suit him since it was given to him. Someday I will try and explain, but this emotion will disappear and as much as an impact these days may have shaping who we will become, words just really can't explain what they all mean.
BTW, 6 months, 22 lbs, 12 oz, 27.5 inches long. My back is breaking, so I hope the weight starts plateauing. He is pulling himself up to stand and crawling, not with complete grace, but he gets whereever he wants to go. He has two bottom teeth that popped up three weeks ago, poops pretty consistantly on the potty and communicates with us more and more. Oh and being part of our family the obvious: he love loves food!!
Instead of longing for them in the future, I am really trying to embrace them in the now. I have become better at balancing myself and my babes, I knit now in there room while sometimes nursing one and reading to the other. I cut fabric for sewing while Asher plays at his art table and does sewing cards and River's has a kick ass afternoon nap. I worry less about the things I could be doing while I read the same annoying book for the 5th time or while I am laying down nursing for what seems to be the millionth minute. I enjoy all of my moments, be them tantrums, laughter, poops or hugs. My my River you have reshaped our family, always for the better. I have changed as a mother in so many ways, be it patience with Asher, patience with myself, more love for the world, more creativity as a parent, more respect for my partner the list goes on and on.Nothing changes things more in a landscape than a river, they meander, ebb and flow. They are fast and slow depending on the parent material that makes up their bed and the rainfall. They change with the seasons and as they age, and they forever impact the world around them.This little boy will never know how much his name has come to suit him since it was given to him. Someday I will try and explain, but this emotion will disappear and as much as an impact these days may have shaping who we will become, words just really can't explain what they all mean. BTW, 6 months, 22 lbs, 12 oz, 27.5 inches long. My back is breaking, so I hope the weight starts plateauing. He is pulling himself up to stand and crawling, not with complete grace, but he gets whereever he wants to go. He has two bottom teeth that popped up three weeks ago, poops pretty consistantly on the potty and communicates with us more and more. Oh and being part of our family the obvious: he love loves food!!
2 comments:
love your thoughts on River's name....beautiful.
What a beautiful post Kate, even though I don't have children at the moment, I am reminded by reading your thoughts that I should focus more on the now :) Oh my how River has grown. He sure is a handsome guy and I can't wait to meet him and hear all the things Asher is talking about these days!
You're a lucky girls :)
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