Starting Fresh

**Blogging Disclaimer: If you choose to read this post, you choose to accept me and my thoughts even if you find them offensive. You accept the fact that they are not directed at you, just my thougths. Furthermore this is a long winded post, intended for myself not others, you are welcome to continue reading but be warned. If you start to get bored or don't care about the inner working of my head then please just top reading. I have a lot more readers on this blog now that the kids are on here, and while that is awesome, you all might not be the audience for my brain, but who am I to stop the workings of the internet? Are you sitting on the edge of your seat completely intrigued? I am going back to some of my sassy blogging roots, where sometimes I was a little uncomfortable publishing things, but knew that really it didn't matter as I had no traffic, now I am considering making my blog public... gasp! also there are no pictures and it may not be coherant, I am all over the place finally getting a chance to type without at baby on my lap**

This whole blogging thing seems to start taking over at some point. I am approaching 5 years here using blogger at that fact is really mind blowing. It all started with my friend Natalie she started a blog and sent me the link and then I though why the hell not, I always liked journaling in my life and maybe someone out there would find what I was thinking remotely interesting and leave me a comment. Then one day while reading N's blog I hit that next blog button up there in the right hand corner and my world changed. I just so happened upon a girls blog who got married on the same day as me and was working on wedding albums for her parents and inlaws, the same thing I was doing. From her blog I found a multitude of craft/mama blogs that I still read to this day and most that I have stopped reading. I discovered Amanda of Soulemama, who inspires me almost everyday, found a lot of knitting blogs and as my interests have shifted I have found others like me. Sometimes I remember an awesome blog I once read or heck even an annoying know it all and I will find there blog and it feels as though I am catching up with an old friend.
While I worked this was okay, when I was home with one kid this was even a little okay, but with two kids my addiction needs to be curbed. I realize things are always going to be changing in life, but adding River to our family seems to have been the biggest change in my life. Asher was an easy addition but balancing an active, exploring, smart yet lacking logic two year old with a cuddly sweet babe is a whole new challenge. So with this big life change, the fact that I just celebrated graduating college a decade ago, it is time to realize that my life is good, we are living the way we want and that while I may not have everyone's respect, I respect myself and my families choices. I respect that my choices are not the right ones for everyone, but they are for us. I believe that you should live your life with ethics and that those ethics should be reflected in everything that you do.
Seven (!!) years ago, Ben and I moved to this small town, and we set one goal for ourselves: to grow as much of our own food as possible. I can't believe that it has been that long and that I don't continue to remind myself of this everyday, because now that I see how far we've come it is something to be proud of. We also planned on eating as locally as possible and I just have to say we are awesome! We have the most difficult diet for anyone to understand and possibly the one that seems the most judgemental. This is not my intention, it is just me and what I believe and how I want to live (I would appreciate not being asked to comprimise, if you want to cook food for me, and question what I will and will not eat, consider me a vegetarian, and I am nursing two children, so yes I do still need protein- this is a whole other blog post).
The other big change in my life is our new car. We are letting go of our Toyota Corolla 1991 wagon and I am so sad. I feel like that car has defined us and I am not in the mood to be defined by a Volkswagon Passat Wagon! I feel like a sell out in a shiny car, like an intruder, and while I don't owe anyone an explanation, I need it for myself. We have been looking for a new car for awhile, thankfully it wasn't out of desparation but the toyota is old and has lots of miles, so we found a good deal on a fancy looking car and were able to buy it outright. It is bought and paid for. Ben and I both agree that buying a new car is silly for us, something that depriciates the moment you purchase it- well that just isn't our cup of tea and really I hate bills and wouldn't want another, so we wern't going to finance a car- enough, we have a new car and I don't want it to define who we are, don't read too much into it, we are still us. and if you thought thank god they are getting rid of their hippy little ride, than I am disappointed that you felt you should judge us, even though the fact that I am writing anything about this is because I know people are judged by the cars that they drive, the clothes that they wear, the money that they do or don't have, which is just a shame for some people because it doesn't reflect who they are...
Bringing me to the point of my change, I am taking full accountability for me being me, I am and always will be a product of my parents. I am attempting to let go of all past grudges, not going to day dream of the boys who broke my heart and how I get revenge and try to get past the fact that I am not always accepted for my differences, oh and also be happy that others are living the way I am living and being praised for it, when I was doing it all the time- isn't that a kicker? You live life a certain way, then it becomes cool and then new people you meet think you are doing it to be cool and tell you that it is just a phase you will pass through... Oh that burns me, or it used to I should say. I am letting go of reading about others people lives via there blogs. I still have a few and in exchange I am going to show off my life a little bit more. We have a wonderful little life, on a small corner lot and have been referred to as "The Little Blue House of Sustainability" and while I thought that would be a good new blog title it seemed a little long winded, so I settled for "Our Urban Homestead" this title is a work in progress, but hopefully will focus my blog for me. the kids will always be a feature as they are my life at the moment, but I am going to take a greater effort to show off our lifestyle and choices. It may help others understand us, but really selfishly this is all about me, how I need to let go of me for the sake of being a good mama, how i need to let go of me to be a good person and how I need to get out of my post baby funk and realize that life is good. I need daily reminders of this and so through this blog I plan on taking my life one day at a time and enjoying all the good, learning from the bad and laughing through all the sleep deprivation.
Post Topics to Come:
Our Food Ethic
Our Yard's Upcoming Potential
Mushrooms
Why my two year old can identify birds by ear, more plants than most adults and doesn't eat corn syrup (that may be a few posts)
why food is so important that I need to write about it twice
Tandem Nursing
Elimination Communication
Why cell phones aren't so good all the time
Being Poor and Eating Organic
General Thriftiness
I will continue to post about crafting and my boys. Thanks for making it this far, you are obligated now to leave a comment, even if it is just hi, I read your blog.